Help Your Child Thrive: The Power of Creating Boundaries
Saturday, December 30, 2023
Saturday, December 30, 2023
Help Your Child Thrive: The Power of Creating Boundaries
Saturday, December 30, 2023
Help Your Child Thrive: The Power of Creating Boundaries
The simple way of creating boundaries that replaces conflict and strict rules with ‘agreed understandings’.
Unlocking Harmony: Creating Boundaries for Happier Parenting.
Navigating those moments when your child’s behaviour doesn’t quite match what you expect can be a real head-scratcher.
But guess what? There's a way to smooth things out without strict rules. It's all about what I like to call "agreed understandings."
Tackling Your Dilemma:
Ever found yourself out with your child and they're not quite behaving how you hoped? Or perhaps they have some different rules when with you to what’s expected of them when visiting other family or friends.
I totally get it.
However, there is a way of setting things straight not with strict rules but by creating boundaries around ways of doing things. These boundaries make sure we, parents and kids, are on the same page, creating a more peaceful home vibe.
In the super-quick video below, Katerina, one of the parents in my CALM Parents and Kids Hub and the Mum of a 9-year old girl, shared her dilemma when it comes to her daughter not always behaving as her mother would hope when they’re out in public. In this example, it may not be particularly bad behaviour, but none the less, they may disagree on what is and isn’t acceptable.
Watch this video now to see how I recommend creating boundaries to help in these situations:
The Magic of Boundaries
So, what’s the deal with these agreed understandings, you ask?
It’s all about talking it out. Instead of just laying down the law, I urge parents to have a chat with their kids, discuss why certain behaviours matter, and then come to an agreement together. This way, children understand why things are the way they are, and they feel like they have a say.
Steering Clear of Control:
It’s super easy to get all bossy, right?
I mean, saying "no" and "don’t" might feel like the way to go. But let's switch gears. I believe in teamwork. It’s not about what others do or what other households follow; it's about us.
Agreed understandings shift the game from control to teamwork, making us a team. It’s a pretty powerful tool for respect, understanding, and a peaceful home.
We're in it together, no one dictating terms.
What’s cool about these agreed understandings is that it’s not just about saying "this is how it goes" and expecting compliance. It’s about nodding heads and saying, “Yep, I get it.” It's about reaching an understanding and seeing eye to eye.
When your children accept and understand, that’s where the magic happens.
Replace ‘Laying Down The Law’ With Connection:
The next time your child is giving you a run for your money behaviour-wise, try having a heart-to-heart. Explain your side, hear them out, and find that middle ground. It’s not about control and laying down the law; it’s about connection.
These agreed understandings?
They can change the game.
So, let’s roll with this journey. It might have its bumps, but these agreed understandings? They’re more than just creating boundaries; they’re building blocks for a stronger, more connected family.
See other posts like this one:
Sunday, October 05, 2025
Does your child become distressed easily?
Does your child melt down over small issues, retreat to their room, or lash out with hurtful words? These aren’t just “tantrums”, they’re signs of Distress Intolerance (DI), when anxiety shows up as an inability to cope with tough emotions. Left unaddressed, DI can carry into teen and adult years, impacting relationships, careers, and wellbeing. But there’s good news: Distress Tolerance is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. In this blog, Sue explains what distress intolerance really is, why it emerges in childhood, and how it affects kids and families. She then shares a simple 5-step method parents can start using today: accept emotions instead of suppressing them, notice how feelings show up in the body, get curious about what’s being triggered, release pent-up energy through movement, and practise consistently until it becomes second nature. By modelling these steps first, parents can guide their child to build resilience, emotional competence, and a calmer, more connected life.
Wednesday, September 10, 2025
My Teen Won’t Go To School
School refusal isn’t laziness, defiance, or a parenting failure, it’s a nervous system stuck in survival mode. In this blog, Sue shares the raw truth behind why so many teens say, “I’ll go tomorrow” and then don’t. You’ll learn how anxiety, rejection, and emotional shutdowns are often behind the resistance, and how your child may be quietly overwhelmed, not oppositional. With powerful insights and compassionate scripts, this post offers: A breakdown of what school refusal really means A real-life example from a parent navigating this with her teen 12+ practical conversation openers you can try today A reminder that your calm presence, not pressure, is the turning point This blog is a lifeline for any parent navigating the emotional rollercoaster of school anxiety. Your child isn’t giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. And with the right approach, change is possible.
Sunday, August 17, 2025
Why Gen Z and Alpha Kids Feel Anxious - How You Can Turn Things Around for Your Child
Many parents are noticing their Gen Z and Alpha kids spending more time behind closed doors or glued to screens, and less time connecting at home. This isn’t defiance — it’s disconnection, often driven by anxiety, overwhelm, and constant digital stimulation. The blog explains why this withdrawal is not “just a phase” and shares a real-life story of a mother who reconnected with her 13-year-old daughter through small, pressure-free moments. It offers 6 compassionate steps parents can take — from encouraging device-free downtime and holding space without hovering, to building gentle social bridges and tuning into emotional needs with empathy. The key message: Parents don’t need to “fix” their child or take an extreme approach. Instead, by leading with trust, presence, and consistency, they can create safe spaces where children naturally open up and reconnect.
Unlocking Harmony: Creating Boundaries for Happier Parenting.
Navigating those moments when your child’s behaviour doesn’t quite match what you expect can be a real head-scratcher.
But guess what? There's a way to smooth things out without strict rules. It's all about what I like to call "agreed understandings."
Tackling Your Dilemma:
Ever found yourself out with your child and they're not quite behaving how you hoped? Or perhaps they have some different rules when with you to what’s expected of them when visiting other family or friends.
I totally get it.
However, there is a way of setting things straight not with strict rules but by creating boundaries around ways of doing things. These boundaries make sure we, parents and kids, are on the same page, creating a more peaceful home vibe.
In the super-quick video below, Katerina, one of the parents in my CALM Parents and Kids Hub and the Mum of a 9-year old girl, shared her dilemma when it comes to her daughter not always behaving as her mother would hope when they’re out in public. In this example, it may not be particularly bad behaviour, but none the less, they may disagree on what is and isn’t acceptable.
Watch this video now to see how I recommend creating boundaries to help in these situations:
The Magic of Boundaries
So, what’s the deal with these agreed understandings, you ask?
It’s all about talking it out. Instead of just laying down the law, I urge parents to have a chat with their kids, discuss why certain behaviours matter, and then come to an agreement together. This way, children understand why things are the way they are, and they feel like they have a say.
Steering Clear of Control:
It’s super easy to get all bossy, right?
I mean, saying "no" and "don’t" might feel like the way to go. But let's switch gears. I believe in teamwork. It’s not about what others do or what other households follow; it's about us.
Agreed understandings shift the game from control to teamwork, making us a team. It’s a pretty powerful tool for respect, understanding, and a peaceful home.
We're in it together, no one dictating terms.
What’s cool about these agreed understandings is that it’s not just about saying "this is how it goes" and expecting compliance. It’s about nodding heads and saying, “Yep, I get it.” It's about reaching an understanding and seeing eye to eye.
When your children accept and understand, that’s where the magic happens.
Replace ‘Laying Down The Law’ With Connection:
The next time your child is giving you a run for your money behaviour-wise, try having a heart-to-heart. Explain your side, hear them out, and find that middle ground. It’s not about control and laying down the law; it’s about connection.
These agreed understandings?
They can change the game.
So, let’s roll with this journey. It might have its bumps, but these agreed understandings? They’re more than just creating boundaries; they’re building blocks for a stronger, more connected family.
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Recent blogs:
Does your child become distressed easily?
Sunday, October 05, 2025
Does your child melt down over small issues, retreat to their room, or lash out with hurtful words? These aren’t just “tantrums”, they’re signs of Distress Intolerance (DI), when anxiety shows up as an inability to cope with tough emotions. Left unaddressed, DI can carry into teen and adult years, impacting relationships, careers, and wellbeing. But there’s good news: Distress Tolerance is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. In this blog, Sue explains what distress intolerance really is, why it emerges in childhood, and how it affects kids and families. She then shares a simple 5-step method parents can start using today: accept emotions instead of suppressing them, notice how feelings show up in the body, get curious about what’s being triggered, release pent-up energy through movement, and practise consistently until it becomes second nature. By modelling these steps first, parents can guide their child to build resilience, emotional competence, and a calmer, more connected life.
My Teen Won’t Go To School
Wednesday, September 10, 2025
School refusal isn’t laziness, defiance, or a parenting failure, it’s a nervous system stuck in survival mode. In this blog, Sue shares the raw truth behind why so many teens say, “I’ll go tomorrow” and then don’t. You’ll learn how anxiety, rejection, and emotional shutdowns are often behind the resistance, and how your child may be quietly overwhelmed, not oppositional. With powerful insights and compassionate scripts, this post offers: A breakdown of what school refusal really means A real-life example from a parent navigating this with her teen 12+ practical conversation openers you can try today A reminder that your calm presence, not pressure, is the turning point This blog is a lifeline for any parent navigating the emotional rollercoaster of school anxiety. Your child isn’t giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. And with the right approach, change is possible.
Why Gen Z and Alpha Kids Feel Anxious - How You Can Turn Things Around for Your Child
Sunday, August 17, 2025
Many parents are noticing their Gen Z and Alpha kids spending more time behind closed doors or glued to screens, and less time connecting at home. This isn’t defiance — it’s disconnection, often driven by anxiety, overwhelm, and constant digital stimulation. The blog explains why this withdrawal is not “just a phase” and shares a real-life story of a mother who reconnected with her 13-year-old daughter through small, pressure-free moments. It offers 6 compassionate steps parents can take — from encouraging device-free downtime and holding space without hovering, to building gentle social bridges and tuning into emotional needs with empathy. The key message: Parents don’t need to “fix” their child or take an extreme approach. Instead, by leading with trust, presence, and consistency, they can create safe spaces where children naturally open up and reconnect.
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