How To Keep Your Cool When Your Anxious Child Is Losing It!
Sunday, April 23, 2023
Sunday, April 23, 2023
How To Keep Your Cool When Your Anxious Child Is Losing It!
Sunday, April 23, 2023
How To Keep Your Cool When Your Anxious Child Is Losing It!
Need help mastering the art of calm? This video shows you how to keep your cool when your anxious child is losing it!
As a parent (especially when you have an anxious child), the first thing you need to learn is how to keep your cool. Even when your child pushes all your buttons!
And they know exactly how to do that when they’re upset, don’t they?
Tantrums at the shops, meltdowns as you struggle to get everyone out the door on time…
Or even worse, outright defiance when you’re trying to get your child to cooperate for you.
It’s enough to make you want to scream!
Thankfully, there is a solution.
In the quick video below I show you a technique you can use to help you stay in control of your reactions even when you’re feeling frustrated.
This strategy will help you prevent making the situation worse. And in turn, you can help your child stay calm too.
Hello, it's Sue Stevenson here.
Does your child ever really push your buttons so much so that you feel like you're just going to totally lose it with them?
Is it any wonder we lose it with our kids sometimes?
I mean, we can only take so much, right?
The Guilt: I'll Never Do This Again!
And when you do end up screaming at your kids like a crazy woman, later that night while lying in bed feeling riddled with guilt and shame, you swear you'll never do this again.
But then the next morning comes around and here we go again. Your child's coming up with every excuse under the sun to avoid going to school. Or perhaps they're arguing with you or their siblings, or perhaps their anxieties just escalate because things just aren't going their way.
Whatever the reason, you’re feeling triggered because your child's pushed your buttons yet again. And you're trying so hard to stay calm and not lose it with your child.
I get how stressful this is. I've been through it and it's just so infuriating because you feel like you're just going to explode.
So I want to share a three step strategy that really works for me and the parents and kids I work with.
Here are the three steps I want you to do…
Step 1
Firstly, instead of reacting while you're feeling angry, stop and hit the pause button. Take a step back and imagine that you are watching all this chaos in a movie.
And then I want you to take a big, deep, slow breath.
Just to ground yourself. I feel better already just from doing that.
Step 2
Then secondly, I want you to do this. It's called box breathing.
Imagine that this square I'm drawing right now is a box.
The first section of the box, I want you to breathe in a big, deep, slow breath while counting to four slowly. Breathe in through your nose and fill up your belly like you're inflating a balloon.
So four counts in, and then I want you to pause for four counts.
And then after you've paused for four counts, I want you to breathe out for four counts, and while you're breathing out, fully expel all the air from your lungs.
Then pause for four counts.
Then I want you to repeat this… in for four counts. Pause out for four counts and pause as many times as it takes until you feel calmer.
You see, pausing and doing this box breathing helps you change your body's physiological state because you can't be highly anxious and also feel calm and breathe deeply and slowly at the same time.
I want you to be able to calm yourself just so that you are ready for those pressure moments. This will help you to better manage situations with your anxious child.
Step 3
And then thirdly, what I want you to do is to practice this box breathing as much as you can. Practice it while you're feeling relaxed, because it's hard to learn new things when you're feeling stressed or anxious.
I've got a client right now who's practicing this every time they go to the bathroom.
Now I often say that anxiety is contagious, but so is calm energy. So by calming yourself using this box breathing, your calm energy will transfer onto others in your household.
Let’s Recap
So just to recap… in those moments when your anxious child pressures you and you feel like you're about to lose it with them, firstly stop… step away… and take a deep breath and ground yourself.
Then secondly, do your box breathing until you're feeling calm.
And then thirdly, keep practicing your box breathing until you’re really good at it so that when you do need it, you can calm yourself down.
Okay, now I want you to go and practice this technique straight away once you've finished watching this video, so you are ready to handle the next time your child pushes your buttons.
See other posts like this one:
Monday, September 09, 2024
The Hidden Impact of Emotional Trauma on Childhood Anxiety
Many of us grew up hearing phrases like, "Why are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!" These words, often said in frustration, may seem harmless in the moment but can have lasting effects on a child's emotional well-being.
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Have you ever wondered why your child seems to resist school more and more? The anxiety, the reluctance to get ready in the morning, the excuses not to go—it’s enough to make any parent worry. What if it’s not just a phase? What if something deeper is at play?
Sunday, July 28, 2024
What’s Wrong with Asking “What’s Wrong?”
As an anxious child I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me. In fact, for four decades I kept this a secret until I discovered there was nothing wrong with me at all. My parents would often ask…… “what’s wrong, now?" And I cringe as I recall myself saying this to my sensitive, big feeling daughter.
As a parent (especially when you have an anxious child), the first thing you need to learn is how to keep your cool. Even when your child pushes all your buttons!
And they know exactly how to do that when they’re upset, don’t they?
Tantrums at the shops, meltdowns as you struggle to get everyone out the door on time…
Or even worse, outright defiance when you’re trying to get your child to cooperate for you.
It’s enough to make you want to scream!
Thankfully, there is a solution.
In the quick video below I show you a technique you can use to help you stay in control of your reactions even when you’re feeling frustrated.
This strategy will help you prevent making the situation worse. And in turn, you can help your child stay calm too.
Hello, it's Sue Stevenson here.
Does your child ever really push your buttons so much so that you feel like you're just going to totally lose it with them?
Is it any wonder we lose it with our kids sometimes?
I mean, we can only take so much, right?
The Guilt: I'll Never Do This Again!
And when you do end up screaming at your kids like a crazy woman, later that night while lying in bed feeling riddled with guilt and shame, you swear you'll never do this again.
But then the next morning comes around and here we go again. Your child's coming up with every excuse under the sun to avoid going to school. Or perhaps they're arguing with you or their siblings, or perhaps their anxieties just escalate because things just aren't going their way.
Whatever the reason, you’re feeling triggered because your child's pushed your buttons yet again. And you're trying so hard to stay calm and not lose it with your child.
I get how stressful this is. I've been through it and it's just so infuriating because you feel like you're just going to explode.
So I want to share a three step strategy that really works for me and the parents and kids I work with.
Here are the three steps I want you to do…
Step 1
Firstly, instead of reacting while you're feeling angry, stop and hit the pause button. Take a step back and imagine that you are watching all this chaos in a movie.
And then I want you to take a big, deep, slow breath.
Just to ground yourself. I feel better already just from doing that.
Step 2
Then secondly, I want you to do this. It's called box breathing.
Imagine that this square I'm drawing right now is a box.
The first section of the box, I want you to breathe in a big, deep, slow breath while counting to four slowly. Breathe in through your nose and fill up your belly like you're inflating a balloon.
So four counts in, and then I want you to pause for four counts.
And then after you've paused for four counts, I want you to breathe out for four counts, and while you're breathing out, fully expel all the air from your lungs.
Then pause for four counts.
Then I want you to repeat this… in for four counts. Pause out for four counts and pause as many times as it takes until you feel calmer.
You see, pausing and doing this box breathing helps you change your body's physiological state because you can't be highly anxious and also feel calm and breathe deeply and slowly at the same time.
I want you to be able to calm yourself just so that you are ready for those pressure moments. This will help you to better manage situations with your anxious child.
Step 3
And then thirdly, what I want you to do is to practice this box breathing as much as you can. Practice it while you're feeling relaxed, because it's hard to learn new things when you're feeling stressed or anxious.
I've got a client right now who's practicing this every time they go to the bathroom.
Now I often say that anxiety is contagious, but so is calm energy. So by calming yourself using this box breathing, your calm energy will transfer onto others in your household.
Let’s Recap
So just to recap… in those moments when your anxious child pressures you and you feel like you're about to lose it with them, firstly stop… step away… and take a deep breath and ground yourself.
Then secondly, do your box breathing until you're feeling calm.
And then thirdly, keep practicing your box breathing until you’re really good at it so that when you do need it, you can calm yourself down.
Okay, now I want you to go and practice this technique straight away once you've finished watching this video, so you are ready to handle the next time your child pushes your buttons.
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Save Your Seat For This FREE Online Class
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
Recent blogs:
The Hidden Impact of Emotional Trauma on Childhood Anxiety
Monday, September 09, 2024
Many of us grew up hearing phrases like, "Why are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!" These words, often said in frustration, may seem harmless in the moment but can have lasting effects on a child's emotional well-being.
Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Have you ever wondered why your child seems to resist school more and more? The anxiety, the reluctance to get ready in the morning, the excuses not to go—it’s enough to make any parent worry. What if it’s not just a phase? What if something deeper is at play?
What’s Wrong with Asking “What’s Wrong?”
Sunday, July 28, 2024
As an anxious child I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me. In fact, for four decades I kept this a secret until I discovered there was nothing wrong with me at all. My parents would often ask…… “what’s wrong, now?" And I cringe as I recall myself saying this to my sensitive, big feeling daughter.
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