Kids and Devices – Part 1: Screens, Stress, Anxiety and Sensitive Kids: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Kids and Devices – Part 1: Screens, Stress, Anxiety and Sensitive Kids: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Kids and Devices – Part 1: Screens, Stress, Anxiety and Sensitive Kids: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Think iPads are calming your child? Think again. This blog reveals how screens are conditioning your child’s brain for quick fixes not emotional regulation. Learn why even “good content” may backfire and discover 7 practical steps to reduce screen-driven anxiety and rebuild calm connection at home.

Busy Parent Snapshot

Screens may feel like a lifeline, but over time, they can train the brain for disconnection, not calm. If your child flips out when the iPad gets turned off, you're not alone.

This blog unpacks how tablets rewire your child’s mind and why even “educational” apps may backfire for anxious, sensitive, or strong-willed kids.

You’ll gain clarity on what’s really going on beneath the surface and how to turn things around.

💡 Look for the 3 key insights into how iPads are shaping behaviour, not just filling time.
⚡ Don’t miss the 7 practical action steps that help your child build resilience without a tech detox.
✨ Small shifts can restore calm, connection, and confidence for both of you.

Have you ever noticed how your child turns into a completely different person the moment you try to get them off their iPad?

Not just disappointed, but distressed. Irritated. Even explosive.

You’re not imagining it.
And it’s not just about “screen time.”

Tablets and smartphones aren’t just digital babysitters.

According to leading researchers like Jonathan Haidt, they’re behavioural training devices and the consequences of early and extended use are showing up in homes and classrooms everywhere.

We’re seeing a generation of kids who struggle to focus, are quick to anger, are constantly overstimulated, and are increasingly anxious.

And here’s the kicker: many of the strategies parents are trying (like introducing tablets with “good content” or rewarding good behaviour with screen time) may be making things worse, not better.

Because we’re not just handing kids a tool.

We’re handing them a reward-based conditioning system that’s rewiring their brains and robbing them of the experiences they actually need for emotional, social, and neurological development.

Let me paint a picture.

Imagine a circus trainer holding a whistle and a fish. Every time the seal taps a ball, it gets a treat. Tap–treat. Tap–treat. Do it faster, get rewarded faster.

Now imagine your child tapping and swiping a screen, again and again, each motion releasing a hit of dopamine, the brain’s “reward chemical.”

Over time, their brain becomes trained for instant gratification. The more they tap, the more they want to tap. But what they don’t build is the ability to wait, focus, or persist through boredom.

💡 Takeaway #1

When you understand the brain science behind screen-induced outbursts, it’s easier to stay calm.

Your child’s reaction to having a device taken away isn’t personal and it isn’t just defiance. Their brain is responding to a cycle of instant rewards and overstimulation. Once you see this for what it is; conditioning, not character, you can shift from reacting in frustration to responding with wisdom.

Here’s the problem.

Tablets don’t just entertain kids. They train them for impatience, for disconnection, for addictive loops.

And this “tap-treat” cycle is happening in childhood, the most critical stage for developing empathy, emotional regulation, motor coordination, creativity, and attention span.

Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, outlines how outdoor play and real-world exploration have plummeted while screen exposure has skyrocketed with a clear and troubling correlation: skyrocketing rates of childhood anxiety, depression, and emotional fragility.

He warns: “A touch-screen can train your child the way a circus trainer trains an animal.”

Other risks include:

Shorter attention spans

Decreased creativity and resilience

Poorer emotional regulation

Increased risk of anxiety and depression

Stunted motor and social skill development

And that’s before we even talk about internet access, sneakiness around usage, or exposure to content they’re not developmentally ready for.

💡 Takeaway #2

Even “good content” can reinforce unhealthy patterns when it’s served through a tap-and-reward screen.

Not all screen time is created equal. While educational apps may feel like a safe compromise, they still operate on fast feedback loops that limit focus, creativity, and emotional growth. Recognizing this helps you move beyond surface-level fixes and address the real issue.

So what can we do?

Here’s the good news.

You can make small, powerful changes starting today - that help your child thrive in this tech-saturated world without needing to throw every screen out the window.

My belief is that we underestimate how capable kids are at controlling their impulses and self regulating. We want our children to feel like we trust them and we’re on their team.

Start with connection: Technology’s biggest threat is how it interrupts real-world connection. Carve out time each day where devices are off and positive relationships are on.

Delay device ownership: The later your child has access to their own tablet or smartphone, the better. (And if you’re wondering how late is too late? It’s not too late yet.) Refrain from giving a device as a gift to your child. Where possible, have all devices as shared family property, ultimately owned by you, the parent. If you haven’t done this yet, I recommend you do this with the next device you purchase.

Create screen-smart habits: Favour shared screen time over solo device use. Watch shows together and use it to spark conversation and emotional awareness.

Bring back boredom: Don’t rush to fill every gap with a screen. Let your kids be bored. That’s the birthplace of creativity, imagination, and resilience.

Protect their curiosity: Use internet filters and charge devices outside bedrooms. But know that these filters aren’t foolproof. You still need connection, supervision, and consistent boundaries.

Prioritise outdoor and imaginative play: Kids learn risk, resilience, empathy and emotional regulation when they’re jumping creeks, building forts, role-playing, and problem-solving with other kids-not swiping alone on a couch. Getting out into nature is what all humans are wired for.

Encourage self regulation and autonomy: Instead of you setting limits and taking charge of your child’s device use, encourage your child to manage this themselves. Ask them “Would you like some help with this or have you got this?” Let them know that either choice is OK and you’re here if they’d like your support. You love them and trust them no matter what.

BONUS ACTIVITY to assist your child self regulate their device use without you having to be the ogre.

Why try this?

Because I believe we underestimate how capable kids and teens can be when we trust them to manage themselves.

I acknowledge that this may not work for everyone but from my experience supporting families, this method can surprise both kids and their parents with very pleasing results such as less tension and on many occasions, less device use.

Here’s what you do.

Get clear on your own and your child’s common values and give your child agency:

Here are some family values and examples of how a child, depending on their age, might meet these values each day.

Connection, creativity, independence, physical activity, knowledge & learning, contribution, self care.

Remember that your values may be slightly different which is OK.

Help your child consider and plan one activity for each value every day then let them manage this. School holidays and weekends are great times to begin practising these skills because there is usually less time pressure.

Here are some examples: (You will obviously need to create activities that suit your child’s age)

Connection: Contact or spend time with a friend, play a board or card game with a family member

Creativity: Draw or paint a picture, bake something, play an instrument.

Independence: Catch a bus or walk to the shops or park independently, dress yourself,

Physical Activity: Shoot some hoops, jump on the trampoline, go for a walk

Knowledge and learning: Do 30 mins homework, read a book,

Contribution: Stack the dishwasher, put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket, help prepare dinner.

Self Care: Have a shower, eat 3 healthy meals, get a good night’s sleep

By setting no device limits with the exception of no device after bedtime, allow your child to manage and monitor themselves so they get to tick off each activity during the day.

Without judgement, if all things were not completed, simply ask your child how they could do things differently tomorrow. Rinse and repeat.

💡 Takeaway #3

You don’t need to ban all screens you just need to lead with connection and consistency.

This isn’t about extremes. It’s about reclaiming your role as a calm, connected leader in your child’s digital world. When you guide from trust and clear values, not control, you teach your child self-awareness, resilience, and regulation that no app can deliver.

Here’s the bottom line:

We don’t need to fear technology but we do need to lead with wisdom, healthy boundaries, and a deep commitment to staying connected to our kids.

Let’s not hand their developmental years over to apps and algorithms.

Let’s keep them rooted in the real world through creativity, connection, movement, and imagination.

Together, let's raise emotionally strong, socially savvy, deeply connected kids - in a world that’s trying to swipe that away.

And if you’re not sure where to start, if the iPad has already become a battle in your house, or you’re noticing emotional shifts in your child that worry you, you’re not alone.

This is exactly what we work through with parents inside the Calm Parents & Kids Hub.

If you’re ready to reclaim peace and calm at home, I invite you to take the first step by watching our free class:

▶️ Watch: Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes without relying on outdated practices.

Let’s raise emotionally strong, socially savvy, deeply connected kids in a world that’s trying to swipe that away.

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