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The Power Of Validating Feelings To Help Your Child Feel Heard And Understood

In this quick video, discover how the power of validating feelings to help your child feel heard and understood.

Have you ever heard the term ‘validating feelings’? This can be so powerful when it comes to helping your anxious child to feel heard and understood.

After all, emotions can be difficult to talk about, even as adults, right?

It’s not easy for your child to explain how they feel or what triggered their anxiety. This is even harder if they feel like you don’t understand them.

And so you end up stuck in a continuous cycle of anxiety… and then meltdown.

All the time, your child is wondering what’s wrong with them.

Why are they different from everyone else?

Why isn’t anyone else worrying the way they are?

This in turn only makes your child more anxious.

BUT… there’s a life changing technique that will change this cycle and make your days easier.

Watch the short video below and you’ll discover the power of validating feelings. This skill will help your child to feel heard and understood:

Hello, it's Sue Stevenson here. Today I want to talk to you about how you can reduce the chance of your child's anxiety from escalating or lingering.

Escalating Anxiety

Okay, so your child's anxiety escalates from zero to a thousand in a matter of seconds. And when this happens, you feel completely powerless to do anything to stop it.

Or maybe your child worries for days and days on end when something's coming up, like going back to school after the holidays or maybe a sports day is coming up, or a free dress day.

Maybe they don't want to leave the house because they're terrified they might see a dog or a bird.

Because of the way your child's behaving, your family just can't even get out the front door. I get how testing this can be. So now your child's anxiety is really starting to take hold of them and rule their life as well as yours.

Most likely, you both feel helpless not knowing how to change things.

The Solution

So here's a really effective way to reduce your child's level of anxiety.

What I want you to do isvalidate your child's emotions.

Now what do I mean by validating your child's emotions?

Well, when you validate your child, you’re acknowledging and accepting how they're feeling. Now, this doesn't mean that you tell them they're okay or that everything's okay even if they're scared or upset. Because from your child's point of view, they're not feeling okay.

And when you say,“Don't worry, it's okay”, that only makes your child feel like you don't understand what it's like for them and they actually lose more trust in you.

Whether your child's feeling scared or sad or any other feeling, your child needs to know that you accept any emotions they're feeling so they don't have to suppress them because you can't handle it.

You see, suppressing or shutting down emotions is one of the biggest causes of anxiety.

So whatever emotions your child's displaying, I want you to validate them so their emotions don't stay trapped in their body, resulting in their anxiety escalating or lingering for days and or hours or weeks on end.

How To Validate Your Child’s Emotions

Here are two examples of ways you can validate your child's emotions.

Firstly, here's what to do if you have a younger child.

Next time your child falls over and starts crying, for example, rather than just tell them they're okay, calmly go over to your child and say something like, “Oh, that must have hurt. Would you like a hug?

Or you can say, “You are being really brave considering you've hurt yourself. I'm here for you. Would you like me to stay with you until you're ready to get up?

Now, what this does is it shows your child that they matter to you because you're acknowledging how they're feeling and you're supporting them and caring about them.

Here's the second example of how to validate your child, and this one's great for teenagers as well.

So your child comes home from school feeling upset and annoyed because someone said something mean about them at school.

Now, instead of suggesting that they just ignore what the person said or you tell them, “Just don't worry about it”, what I want you to say is, “That must have been awful for you to hear Peter say that about you. How did that make you feel?

By doing this, your child feels like they mattered to you because you're caring about how they're feeling instead of just brushing it off. And this is why kids who have their emotions validated are more resilient.

Validating Feelings For Long Term Gains

So despite the short term inconvenience of having to stop what you're doing and validate your child's emotions, taking just a few moments to do this pays dividends in the long term because their emotions don't stay trapped inside them, hanging around or escalating further. It's a win-win for everyone.

So I want you to go and start validating your child today.



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The Power Of Validating Feelings To Help Your Child Feel Heard And Understood

In this quick video, discover how the power of validating feelings to help your child feel heard and understood.

Have you ever heard the term ‘validating feelings’? This can be so powerful when it comes to helping your anxious child to feel heard and understood.

After all, emotions can be difficult to talk about, even as adults, right?

It’s not easy for your child to explain how they feel or what triggered their anxiety. This is even harder if they feel like you don’t understand them.

And so you end up stuck in a continuous cycle of anxiety… and then meltdown.

All the time, your child is wondering what’s wrong with them.

Why are they different from everyone else?

Why isn’t anyone else worrying the way they are?

This in turn only makes your child more anxious.

BUT… there’s a life changing technique that will change this cycle and make your days easier.

Watch the short video below and you’ll discover the power of validating feelings. This skill will help your child to feel heard and understood:

Hello, it's Sue Stevenson here. Today I want to talk to you about how you can reduce the chance of your child's anxiety from escalating or lingering.

Escalating Anxiety

Okay, so your child's anxiety escalates from zero to a thousand in a matter of seconds. And when this happens, you feel completely powerless to do anything to stop it.

Or maybe your child worries for days and days on end when something's coming up, like going back to school after the holidays or maybe a sports day is coming up, or a free dress day.

Maybe they don't want to leave the house because they're terrified they might see a dog or a bird.

Because of the way your child's behaving, your family just can't even get out the front door. I get how testing this can be. So now your child's anxiety is really starting to take hold of them and rule their life as well as yours.

Most likely, you both feel helpless not knowing how to change things.

The Solution

So here's a really effective way to reduce your child's level of anxiety.

What I want you to do isvalidate your child's emotions.

Now what do I mean by validating your child's emotions?

Well, when you validate your child, you’re acknowledging and accepting how they're feeling. Now, this doesn't mean that you tell them they're okay or that everything's okay even if they're scared or upset. Because from your child's point of view, they're not feeling okay.

And when you say,“Don't worry, it's okay”, that only makes your child feel like you don't understand what it's like for them and they actually lose more trust in you.

Whether your child's feeling scared or sad or any other feeling, your child needs to know that you accept any emotions they're feeling so they don't have to suppress them because you can't handle it.

You see, suppressing or shutting down emotions is one of the biggest causes of anxiety.

So whatever emotions your child's displaying, I want you to validate them so their emotions don't stay trapped in their body, resulting in their anxiety escalating or lingering for days and or hours or weeks on end.

How To Validate Your Child’s Emotions

Here are two examples of ways you can validate your child's emotions.

Firstly, here's what to do if you have a younger child.

Next time your child falls over and starts crying, for example, rather than just tell them they're okay, calmly go over to your child and say something like, “Oh, that must have hurt. Would you like a hug?

Or you can say, “You are being really brave considering you've hurt yourself. I'm here for you. Would you like me to stay with you until you're ready to get up?

Now, what this does is it shows your child that they matter to you because you're acknowledging how they're feeling and you're supporting them and caring about them.

Here's the second example of how to validate your child, and this one's great for teenagers as well.

So your child comes home from school feeling upset and annoyed because someone said something mean about them at school.

Now, instead of suggesting that they just ignore what the person said or you tell them, “Just don't worry about it”, what I want you to say is, “That must have been awful for you to hear Peter say that about you. How did that make you feel?

By doing this, your child feels like they mattered to you because you're caring about how they're feeling instead of just brushing it off. And this is why kids who have their emotions validated are more resilient.

Validating Feelings For Long Term Gains

So despite the short term inconvenience of having to stop what you're doing and validate your child's emotions, taking just a few moments to do this pays dividends in the long term because their emotions don't stay trapped inside them, hanging around or escalating further. It's a win-win for everyone.

So I want you to go and start validating your child today.



See other posts like this one:

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Do Time Outs Really Work?

Are time outs truly effective in teaching children valuable lessons, or do they inadvertently hinder kids’ learning and emotional growth? Many parents and educators rely on time outs as a disciplinary tool, but does this method work for our kids? Join me as we explore time outs' effectiveness and discover alternative approaches that prioritise empathy and understanding.

Sunday, March 24, 2024

Discover How 3 Easy Steps Can Help Your Anxious Child Thrive

In the realm of children's anxiety, the concept of contagion takes on a profound significance. Children often catch anxiety from their environment, absorbing fears and uncertainties from parents, peers, and the world around them.

Sunday, March 03, 2024

A Mother's Journey from Heartache to Healing

Do you want to have more joy in your family? Today, I'm opening up about something very personal, something I've never shared quite like this before. I'm going to share a lesson that not only comes from our weekly parenting classes but also from my own journey.

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