Screen Time Meltdowns? How to Break the Cycle
Monday, April 14, 2025
Monday, April 14, 2025
Screen Time Meltdowns? How to Break the Cycle
Monday, April 14, 2025
Screen Time Meltdowns? How to Break the Cycle
You know the scene: You tell your child it’s time to turn off the tablet, and suddenly, the sky is falling. Tears, screaming, maybe even a full-body flop onto the floor. Your sweet child just giggling at a silly YouTube video is now thrashing around like you’ve taken away their oxygen.
You know the scene: You tell your child it’s time to turn off the tablet, and suddenly, the sky is falling. Tears, screaming, maybe even a full-body flop onto the floor. Your sweet child just giggling at a silly YouTube video is now thrashing around like you’ve taken away their oxygen.
And you? You’re exhausted. Infuriated. Maybe even embarrassed if this happens in public. Why does a simple “time’s up!” turn into a full-blown war?!
Are you being too strict? Too lenient? Is screen time ruining everything?
A Dad’s Screen-Time Showdown: From Chaos to Connection
Meet Mark and his 12-year-old son, Liam. Every evening, Mark faced the same dreaded struggle: getting Liam to turn off his tablet without erupting into tears and anger. It felt like a no win situation, and honestly, he was over it.
One evening, after a long day at work, Mark tried his usual approach. “Liam, time to turn it off now.”
Immediately, his face twisted in frustration. “No! I’m not done yet!” he cried, clutching the device like a lifeline.
Mark felt his patience slipping. He had two choices: demand he hand it over and brace for an epic meltdown or try something different.
Taking a deep breath, he sat beside Liam and peeked at his screen. “That looks fun. What’s happening in your game?”
Liam, caught off guard by his sudden interest, hesitated before explaining. He was in the middle of going to the next level in Fortnite.
Mark nodded. “That’s cool! What do you think would be a good stopping point?”
Liam thought for a moment. “When I finish this level.”
“And how long will that likely take?”
Liam, although a little frustrated by the question, replied with, “I don’t know, about 10 mins.”
“Okay,” Mark agreed. I’ll come back in 10 mins. And just checking, would you like me to let you know when there’s only two mins left or have you got this?
Nah, I’ve got this, Liam replied.
Mark responded with “Awesome. I’ll have your favorite Spaghetti Bolognaise ready. Good luck with getting through to the next level.”
Just under 10 mins later Mark quietly and calmly walked over to Liam who was intensely focussed on getting through the level he was on. Mark started cheering Liam on and in a minute or so, BOOM, Liam had made it to the next level. Mark high fived Liam and told him his dinner was ready. A moment later Liam turned his device off and they went off to enjoy dinner together.
There was no yelling, no resistance- it was a smooth transition.
And that’s when it clicked: It was never about the screen. It was about how Liam felt throughout the whole process.
You might think, “Good for Mark, but you don’t know my kid.”
Don’t worry. I’m not here to give you more surface level tips. Repeating Mark’s script word-for-word may not solve your screen time battles.
BUT…….
Real solutions come from knowing why something is happening and responding to it on the deepest level. That’s what I’m here to show you.
The Science Behind the Screen Struggle
Screens provide predictability, control, and a safe escape from overwhelming emotions. They also provide the chase for a dopamine rush, “feeling good”. For an anxious or sensitive child, turning off a screen is more than losing a game or a show - it’s losing a sense of comfort, motivation, control and stability.
When we abruptly remove the device, we trigger their fight-or-flight response. Their brains don’t process, “Oh, this is just screen time ending.” Instead, they react as if they’re no longer in control. The more we push, the more their nervous system fights back.
So how can we avoid that nervous system reaction in our anxious kids?
Well here’s what won’t work: When your child feels disempowered and controlled by you.
When we’re doing all the talking, lecturing about screen limits, and barking orders, our kids' brains aren’t processing or developing the skills to handle transitions - they’re just reacting.
Whether or not your children do what you ask, commands and ultimatums don’t help kids develop the ability to anticipate, prepare, or self-regulate. Instead, children become conditioned to fight back or give up and obey without comprehension or push back in frustration.
The more this cycle repeats, the stronger those neural pathways become, reinforcing a pattern of resistance, lack of respect and disconnection rather than cooperation.
Following orders isn’t the same as understanding why a rule exists or how to manage emotions around it.
True learning happens when kids are engaged in the process - when they get to think, make choices, and participate in solutions.
Guide Them From Reacting to Thinking Clearly
Have you heard advice like this before?
Offer your child a choice between stopping in five minutes or ten minutes.
Give your child a five-minute warning, then a one-minute warning.
Let me guess. That didn’t work at all for your anxious child, did it?
Anxious, sensitive kids see through this technique and realize that you're still trying to control them.
Instead, we need to help them feel empowered by involving them in problem-solving – for real.
The goal is to help your child develop the ability to handle change without panic or power struggles. They can only do that if their brain is lit up and engaged: if they’re thinking clearly.
✅ Help Them Choose the Shift with Connection
Rather than a quick, “Five more minutes!”, engage their thinking:
“Hey, I know it’s hard to stop when you’re focused. How do you want to wrap this up so it feels finished?”
This moves them from feeling blindsided to feeling like they matter, having control around the transition.
✅ Use Their World to Make It Make Sense
Instead of a generic “Everybody needs a break,” make it relevant:
“In your game, your character takes breaks to level up. What if we do that, too? Take a break now so you’re ready for the next thing?”
This shifts the conversation from losing screen time to understanding relatable reasons behind it.
✅ Turn the Next Step Into a Positive Step, Not a Distraction
Rather than bribing or threatening them with punishment eg no device for two days; frame it as a positive experience and outcome:
“After you’re done, let’s get outside and shoot some hoops."
This helps them connect with you, feel hopeful and it meets their emotional need that they matter. It helps your child feel like you’re on their team instead of feeling like screen time is being taken away.
✅ Help them feel good so they’re in a regulated state.
Instead of imposing forced choices like “Do you want to stop now or in five minutes?”, help them check in with themselves:
Engage with them and show them you’re on their team before attempting to reason with them. Your child’s prefrontal cortex is switched off when they’re in a heightened survival state.
When they feel supported, they feel safe and can think more clearly and rationally.
Check in with them eg,
"Do you need a few more minutes to wrap up, or is this a good stopping point?”
"Would you like my support or have you got this?"
This gives them practice at noticing and taking responsibility for their own state rather than just following your rules and instructions.
✅ Prep them before going on the device so they know what’s coming.
I realise in Mark’s case he didn’t prep Liam, but when you do prep your child before they even go on their device, they have even a better chance of managing their own state.
When you coach them with questions such as:
👉 “What would be a good way to end screen time?”
👉 “How do you feel when you turn it off suddenly versus when you plan for some away time?”
👉“What’s going to help you transition to the next thing?”
you help rewire their brain to think rather than just react, making transitions far less stressful… and ensuring they’re learning the skills they need to handle screen time for the rest of their life.
The Big Takeaway: Collaborate With Your Child
Your goal is never to “win” the screen time battle, nor should you be “giving in”.
When you help your child feel cared about, they have a greater chance of listening and understanding that endings aren’t bad - they’re just part of moving on to something new - they are more likely to participate rather than resist. When they feel they have a say in transitions, they’re more likely to think through the moment and build emotional resilience.
The next time you reach the dreaded screen time cutoff, take a deep breath and remember:
The U-Turn from force and pressure to collaboration is where genuine change begins.
See other posts like this one:
Monday, April 14, 2025
Screen Time Meltdowns? How to Break the Cycle
You know the scene: You tell your child it’s time to turn off the tablet, and suddenly, the sky is falling. Tears, screaming, maybe even a full-body flop onto the floor. Your sweet child just giggling at a silly YouTube video is now thrashing around like you’ve taken away their oxygen.
Monday, March 31, 2025
What to Do If Gentle Parenting Is Making Your Child’s Anxiety Worse
You’ve done everything right - kindness, listening, connection. You’ve embraced gentle parenting, believing it’s the key to raising a confident, emotionally healthy child. But now your child clings to you, paralyzed by fear, and you wonder: is my well-intentioned approach unintentionally making their anxiety worse?
Monday, March 17, 2025
The ABC Method: From Tantrums to Trust
It’s 7:30 AM, and chaos reigns in your kitchen. The clock is ticking. You’re late. Your child is wailing, tears streaming down their face because their favorite cereal is gone. You didn’t even know “the dinosaur cereal” was that important until now.
You know the scene: You tell your child it’s time to turn off the tablet, and suddenly, the sky is falling. Tears, screaming, maybe even a full-body flop onto the floor. Your sweet child just giggling at a silly YouTube video is now thrashing around like you’ve taken away their oxygen.
And you? You’re exhausted. Infuriated. Maybe even embarrassed if this happens in public. Why does a simple “time’s up!” turn into a full-blown war?!
Are you being too strict? Too lenient? Is screen time ruining everything?
A Dad’s Screen-Time Showdown: From Chaos to Connection
Meet Mark and his 12-year-old son, Liam. Every evening, Mark faced the same dreaded struggle: getting Liam to turn off his tablet without erupting into tears and anger. It felt like a no win situation, and honestly, he was over it.
One evening, after a long day at work, Mark tried his usual approach. “Liam, time to turn it off now.”
Immediately, his face twisted in frustration. “No! I’m not done yet!” he cried, clutching the device like a lifeline.
Mark felt his patience slipping. He had two choices: demand he hand it over and brace for an epic meltdown or try something different.
Taking a deep breath, he sat beside Liam and peeked at his screen. “That looks fun. What’s happening in your game?”
Liam, caught off guard by his sudden interest, hesitated before explaining. He was in the middle of going to the next level in Fortnite.
Mark nodded. “That’s cool! What do you think would be a good stopping point?”
Liam thought for a moment. “When I finish this level.”
“And how long will that likely take?”
Liam, although a little frustrated by the question, replied with, “I don’t know, about 10 mins.”
“Okay,” Mark agreed. I’ll come back in 10 mins. And just checking, would you like me to let you know when there’s only two mins left or have you got this?
Nah, I’ve got this, Liam replied.
Mark responded with “Awesome. I’ll have your favorite Spaghetti Bolognaise ready. Good luck with getting through to the next level.”
Just under 10 mins later Mark quietly and calmly walked over to Liam who was intensely focussed on getting through the level he was on. Mark started cheering Liam on and in a minute or so, BOOM, Liam had made it to the next level. Mark high fived Liam and told him his dinner was ready. A moment later Liam turned his device off and they went off to enjoy dinner together.
There was no yelling, no resistance- it was a smooth transition.
And that’s when it clicked: It was never about the screen. It was about how Liam felt throughout the whole process.
You might think, “Good for Mark, but you don’t know my kid.”
Don’t worry. I’m not here to give you more surface level tips. Repeating Mark’s script word-for-word may not solve your screen time battles.
BUT…….
Real solutions come from knowing why something is happening and responding to it on the deepest level. That’s what I’m here to show you.
The Science Behind the Screen Struggle
Screens provide predictability, control, and a safe escape from overwhelming emotions. They also provide the chase for a dopamine rush, “feeling good”. For an anxious or sensitive child, turning off a screen is more than losing a game or a show - it’s losing a sense of comfort, motivation, control and stability.
When we abruptly remove the device, we trigger their fight-or-flight response. Their brains don’t process, “Oh, this is just screen time ending.” Instead, they react as if they’re no longer in control. The more we push, the more their nervous system fights back.
So how can we avoid that nervous system reaction in our anxious kids?
Well here’s what won’t work: When your child feels disempowered and controlled by you.
When we’re doing all the talking, lecturing about screen limits, and barking orders, our kids' brains aren’t processing or developing the skills to handle transitions - they’re just reacting.
Whether or not your children do what you ask, commands and ultimatums don’t help kids develop the ability to anticipate, prepare, or self-regulate. Instead, children become conditioned to fight back or give up and obey without comprehension or push back in frustration.
The more this cycle repeats, the stronger those neural pathways become, reinforcing a pattern of resistance, lack of respect and disconnection rather than cooperation.
Following orders isn’t the same as understanding why a rule exists or how to manage emotions around it.
True learning happens when kids are engaged in the process - when they get to think, make choices, and participate in solutions.
Guide Them From Reacting to Thinking Clearly
Have you heard advice like this before?
Offer your child a choice between stopping in five minutes or ten minutes.
Give your child a five-minute warning, then a one-minute warning.
Let me guess. That didn’t work at all for your anxious child, did it?
Anxious, sensitive kids see through this technique and realize that you're still trying to control them.
Instead, we need to help them feel empowered by involving them in problem-solving – for real.
The goal is to help your child develop the ability to handle change without panic or power struggles. They can only do that if their brain is lit up and engaged: if they’re thinking clearly.
✅ Help Them Choose the Shift with Connection
Rather than a quick, “Five more minutes!”, engage their thinking:
“Hey, I know it’s hard to stop when you’re focused. How do you want to wrap this up so it feels finished?”
This moves them from feeling blindsided to feeling like they matter, having control around the transition.
✅ Use Their World to Make It Make Sense
Instead of a generic “Everybody needs a break,” make it relevant:
“In your game, your character takes breaks to level up. What if we do that, too? Take a break now so you’re ready for the next thing?”
This shifts the conversation from losing screen time to understanding relatable reasons behind it.
✅ Turn the Next Step Into a Positive Step, Not a Distraction
Rather than bribing or threatening them with punishment eg no device for two days; frame it as a positive experience and outcome:
“After you’re done, let’s get outside and shoot some hoops."
This helps them connect with you, feel hopeful and it meets their emotional need that they matter. It helps your child feel like you’re on their team instead of feeling like screen time is being taken away.
✅ Help them feel good so they’re in a regulated state.
Instead of imposing forced choices like “Do you want to stop now or in five minutes?”, help them check in with themselves:
Engage with them and show them you’re on their team before attempting to reason with them. Your child’s prefrontal cortex is switched off when they’re in a heightened survival state.
When they feel supported, they feel safe and can think more clearly and rationally.
Check in with them eg,
"Do you need a few more minutes to wrap up, or is this a good stopping point?”
"Would you like my support or have you got this?"
This gives them practice at noticing and taking responsibility for their own state rather than just following your rules and instructions.
✅ Prep them before going on the device so they know what’s coming.
I realise in Mark’s case he didn’t prep Liam, but when you do prep your child before they even go on their device, they have even a better chance of managing their own state.
When you coach them with questions such as:
👉 “What would be a good way to end screen time?”
👉 “How do you feel when you turn it off suddenly versus when you plan for some away time?”
👉“What’s going to help you transition to the next thing?”
you help rewire their brain to think rather than just react, making transitions far less stressful… and ensuring they’re learning the skills they need to handle screen time for the rest of their life.
The Big Takeaway: Collaborate With Your Child
Your goal is never to “win” the screen time battle, nor should you be “giving in”.
When you help your child feel cared about, they have a greater chance of listening and understanding that endings aren’t bad - they’re just part of moving on to something new - they are more likely to participate rather than resist. When they feel they have a say in transitions, they’re more likely to think through the moment and build emotional resilience.
The next time you reach the dreaded screen time cutoff, take a deep breath and remember:
The U-Turn from force and pressure to collaboration is where genuine change begins.
Save your seat for this
FREE ONLINE CLASS
Tuesday, April 29th
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
RECENT BLOGS
Save Your Seat For This FREE Class - Tuesday Apr 29th
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
Recent blogs:
Screen Time Meltdowns? How to Break the Cycle
Monday, April 14, 2025
You know the scene: You tell your child it’s time to turn off the tablet, and suddenly, the sky is falling. Tears, screaming, maybe even a full-body flop onto the floor. Your sweet child just giggling at a silly YouTube video is now thrashing around like you’ve taken away their oxygen.
What to Do If Gentle Parenting Is Making Your Child’s Anxiety Worse
Monday, March 31, 2025
You’ve done everything right - kindness, listening, connection. You’ve embraced gentle parenting, believing it’s the key to raising a confident, emotionally healthy child. But now your child clings to you, paralyzed by fear, and you wonder: is my well-intentioned approach unintentionally making their anxiety worse?
The ABC Method: From Tantrums to Trust
Monday, March 17, 2025
It’s 7:30 AM, and chaos reigns in your kitchen. The clock is ticking. You’re late. Your child is wailing, tears streaming down their face because their favorite cereal is gone. You didn’t even know “the dinosaur cereal” was that important until now.
Mid Year $1 Offer
I’ll show you just how possible it is
to reduce your child’s anxiety starting TODAY!
Have access to our proven techniques that have helped countless parents calm their anxious child.
Home
About Sue
About U-Turn Anxiety
Meet Our Coaches
Copyright © All rights reserved 2018 - Present | Terms | Privacy
Save your seat for our
FREE ONLINE CLASS