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Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.

Monday, May 13, 2024

Monday, May 13, 2024

Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.

Monday, May 13, 2024

Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.

Sick of nagging your kids?


“Thank you for showing me a different way to manage my kids.”
- Jen (mum of 2)

Two weeks ago, I sat listening to Jen, a mother of two who was feeling at the end of her tether.

She explained that she felt like a terrible mother, consumed by guilt and anxiety because she was constantly nagging her kids, trying to get them to cooperate.

Jen was worried that her nagging was affecting her relationship with her kids.

The Nagging Trap

And trust me, Jen is not alone. I have been there on many occasions when I was busy juggling family and work life.

Those countless reminders felt like a never-ending battle, whether it was homework, chores, or simply trying to get my kids ready to leave the house in the morning.

Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned how possible it is to turn things around, let go of the guilt, and become the parent you truly want to be. I know this is possible for you, too.

Breaking Free from Nagging

I shared some tips with Jen, which led to her seeing massive positive changes in her home in as little as two weeks.

Jen now asks more powerful, non-judgmental questions rather than giving advice.​

She is speaking less!


Why is speaking less essential for us as parents?

When WE do all the speaking, OUR neural pathways fire.

Looking back, before I learned this, I realised how much I over-talked as a mother and teacher.

Why does this matter?

It matters because kids are likely to tune out when a conversation is one-sided. This may be hard to swallow, but it means you’re making it all about yourself.

No wonder kids often disconnect from what their parents and educators are saying. They’ve tuned out because the conversation is one-sided. I shudder to think about how frequently I did this as a teacher and a parent before I learned there was a better way.

Tuning Into Your Child

Here’s what I’ve learned since then.

Whenever YOU speak, YOUR neurons fire, yet your child’s neurons are metaphorically lying back, snoozing.


Our thoughts drive our behaviour so if your child’s neurons are asleep, how can you expect your child to be motivated or willing to take action and follow your instructions?

How can you break this pattern of you doing all the talking (AKA nagging) and your child tuning out?

📌 The key is to tune into your child and meet them where they’re at.

Strategies for Connection

Instead of nagging and expecting your child to meet you where you’re at, slow down, tune in, and connect with them without over-talking. Be present, listen, and honour their space.

Then, when your child is comfortable in your presence, ask a neutral question without judgement or negativity in your voice or body language, and wait until your child engages and speaks. (💡 Remember: You want their neurons to fire!)

Here are just a few strategies Jen has been practising.

✅ Hey ……………., can I ask you something?
(This checks in to see if your child is ready to listen).

✅ How long until this show is finished?
(This will prevent your child from feeling like you’re interrupting and intruding into their personal space.)

✅ You look tired. How long do you need before you go and clean your teeth and hop into bed? (This assists your child in self-assessing without you nagging eg: go and clean your teeth, IT’S TIME FOR BED!)

✅ It’s getting late, and it looks like you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now. Would you like some help to ……………………………….eg clean your teeth, do your HW or have you got this?

By applying these strategies, Jen is noticing significant improvements in connecting with and tuning into her child's needs. This is giving her child a chance to self-lead and take charge of their situation by waking up their neurons.

Your Turn

Now, it’s your turn to think of how you could NAG LESS and CONNECT MORE to fire up and strengthen your child’s neurons.

You might think this will not work for you, or perhaps you think you’ve already tried it.

I encourage you to have another go with a new intention of waking up your child’s neurons so you aren’t doing all the work.

Let’s face it: nagging is exhausting. It’s all one way, and it doesn’t serve anyone.

It’s time to help our young people think and do things for themselves by activating and developing strong positive neural pathways that help them take responsibility for themselves in ways that serve them and you.

You’ve got this! :)

- Sue :)


See other posts like this one:

Monday, May 13, 2024

Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.

Sick of nagging your kids?

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Here's A Powerful Parenting Question

Are you asking this powerful question when your child seems stuck? Parenting can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when you see your child grappling with anxiety, anger, or distress. Your deepest wish is for them to feel strong and in charge of their emotions.

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Do Time Outs Really Work?

Are time outs truly effective in teaching children valuable lessons, or do they inadvertently hinder kids’ learning and emotional growth? Many parents and educators rely on time outs as a disciplinary tool, but does this method work for our kids? Join me as we explore time outs' effectiveness and discover alternative approaches that prioritise empathy and understanding.


“Thank you for showing me a different way to manage my kids.”
- Jen (mum of 2)

Two weeks ago, I sat listening to Jen, a mother of two who was feeling at the end of her tether.

She explained that she felt like a terrible mother, consumed by guilt and anxiety because she was constantly nagging her kids, trying to get them to cooperate.

Jen was worried that her nagging was affecting her relationship with her kids.

The Nagging Trap

And trust me, Jen is not alone. I have been there on many occasions when I was busy juggling family and work life.

Those countless reminders felt like a never-ending battle, whether it was homework, chores, or simply trying to get my kids ready to leave the house in the morning.

Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned how possible it is to turn things around, let go of the guilt, and become the parent you truly want to be. I know this is possible for you, too.

Breaking Free from Nagging

I shared some tips with Jen, which led to her seeing massive positive changes in her home in as little as two weeks.

Jen now asks more powerful, non-judgmental questions rather than giving advice.​

She is speaking less!


Why is speaking less essential for us as parents?

When WE do all the speaking, OUR neural pathways fire.

Looking back, before I learned this, I realised how much I over-talked as a mother and teacher.

Why does this matter?

It matters because kids are likely to tune out when a conversation is one-sided. This may be hard to swallow, but it means you’re making it all about yourself.

No wonder kids often disconnect from what their parents and educators are saying. They’ve tuned out because the conversation is one-sided. I shudder to think about how frequently I did this as a teacher and a parent before I learned there was a better way.

Tuning Into Your Child

Here’s what I’ve learned since then.

Whenever YOU speak, YOUR neurons fire, yet your child’s neurons are metaphorically lying back, snoozing.


Our thoughts drive our behaviour so if your child’s neurons are asleep, how can you expect your child to be motivated or willing to take action and follow your instructions?

How can you break this pattern of you doing all the talking (AKA nagging) and your child tuning out?

📌 The key is to tune into your child and meet them where they’re at.

Strategies for Connection

Instead of nagging and expecting your child to meet you where you’re at, slow down, tune in, and connect with them without over-talking. Be present, listen, and honour their space.

Then, when your child is comfortable in your presence, ask a neutral question without judgement or negativity in your voice or body language, and wait until your child engages and speaks. (💡 Remember: You want their neurons to fire!)

Here are just a few strategies Jen has been practising.

✅ Hey ……………., can I ask you something?
(This checks in to see if your child is ready to listen).

✅ How long until this show is finished?
(This will prevent your child from feeling like you’re interrupting and intruding into their personal space.)

✅ You look tired. How long do you need before you go and clean your teeth and hop into bed? (This assists your child in self-assessing without you nagging eg: go and clean your teeth, IT’S TIME FOR BED!)

✅ It’s getting late, and it looks like you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now. Would you like some help to ……………………………….eg clean your teeth, do your HW or have you got this?

By applying these strategies, Jen is noticing significant improvements in connecting with and tuning into her child's needs. This is giving her child a chance to self-lead and take charge of their situation by waking up their neurons.

Your Turn

Now, it’s your turn to think of how you could NAG LESS and CONNECT MORE to fire up and strengthen your child’s neurons.

You might think this will not work for you, or perhaps you think you’ve already tried it.

I encourage you to have another go with a new intention of waking up your child’s neurons so you aren’t doing all the work.

Let’s face it: nagging is exhausting. It’s all one way, and it doesn’t serve anyone.

It’s time to help our young people think and do things for themselves by activating and developing strong positive neural pathways that help them take responsibility for themselves in ways that serve them and you.

You’ve got this! :)

- Sue :)


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Recent blogs:

Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.

Monday, May 13, 2024

Sick of nagging your kids?

Here's A Powerful Parenting Question

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Are you asking this powerful question when your child seems stuck? Parenting can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when you see your child grappling with anxiety, anger, or distress. Your deepest wish is for them to feel strong and in charge of their emotions.

Do Time Outs Really Work?

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Are time outs truly effective in teaching children valuable lessons, or do they inadvertently hinder kids’ learning and emotional growth? Many parents and educators rely on time outs as a disciplinary tool, but does this method work for our kids? Join me as we explore time outs' effectiveness and discover alternative approaches that prioritise empathy and understanding.

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