Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.
Monday, May 13, 2024
Monday, May 13, 2024
Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.
Monday, May 13, 2024
Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.
Sick of nagging your kids?
“Thank you for showing me a different way to manage my kids.”
- Jen (mum of 2)
Two weeks ago, I sat listening to Jen, a mother of two who was feeling at the end of her tether.
She explained that she felt like a terrible mother, consumed by guilt and anxiety because she was constantly nagging her kids, trying to get them to cooperate.
Jen was worried that her nagging was affecting her relationship with her kids.
The Nagging Trap
And trust me, Jen is not alone. I have been there on many occasions when I was busy juggling family and work life.
Those countless reminders felt like a never-ending battle, whether it was homework, chores, or simply trying to get my kids ready to leave the house in the morning.
Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned how possible it is to turn things around, let go of the guilt, and become the parent you truly want to be. I know this is possible for you, too.
Breaking Free from Nagging
I shared some tips with Jen, which led to her seeing massive positive changes in her home in as little as two weeks.
Jen now asks more powerful, non-judgmental questions rather than giving advice.
She is speaking less!
Why is speaking less essential for us as parents?
When WE do all the speaking, OUR neural pathways fire.
Looking back, before I learned this, I realised how much I over-talked as a mother and teacher.
Why does this matter?
It matters because kids are likely to tune out when a conversation is one-sided. This may be hard to swallow, but it means you’re making it all about yourself.
No wonder kids often disconnect from what their parents and educators are saying. They’ve tuned out because the conversation is one-sided. I shudder to think about how frequently I did this as a teacher and a parent before I learned there was a better way.
Tuning Into Your Child
Here’s what I’ve learned since then.
Whenever YOU speak, YOUR neurons fire, yet your child’s neurons are metaphorically lying back, snoozing.
Our thoughts drive our behaviour so if your child’s neurons are asleep, how can you expect your child to be motivated or willing to take action and follow your instructions?
How can you break this pattern of you doing all the talking (AKA nagging) and your child tuning out?
📌 The key is to tune into your child and meet them where they’re at.
Strategies for Connection
Instead of nagging and expecting your child to meet you where you’re at, slow down, tune in, and connect with them without over-talking. Be present, listen, and honour their space.
Then, when your child is comfortable in your presence, ask a neutral question without judgement or negativity in your voice or body language, and wait until your child engages and speaks. (💡 Remember: You want their neurons to fire!)
Here are just a few strategies Jen has been practising.
✅ Hey ……………., can I ask you something?
(This checks in to see if your child is ready to listen).
✅ How long until this show is finished?
(This will prevent your child from feeling like you’re interrupting and intruding into their personal space.)
✅ You look tired. How long do you need before you go and clean your teeth and hop into bed? (This assists your child in self-assessing without you nagging eg: go and clean your teeth, IT’S TIME FOR BED!)
✅ It’s getting late, and it looks like you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now. Would you like some help to ……………………………….eg clean your teeth, do your HW or have you got this?
By applying these strategies, Jen is noticing significant improvements in connecting with and tuning into her child's needs. This is giving her child a chance to self-lead and take charge of their situation by waking up their neurons.
Your Turn
Now, it’s your turn to think of how you could NAG LESS and CONNECT MORE to fire up and strengthen your child’s neurons.
You might think this will not work for you, or perhaps you think you’ve already tried it.
I encourage you to have another go with a new intention of waking up your child’s neurons so you aren’t doing all the work.
Let’s face it: nagging is exhausting. It’s all one way, and it doesn’t serve anyone.
It’s time to help our young people think and do things for themselves by activating and developing strong positive neural pathways that help them take responsibility for themselves in ways that serve them and you.
You’ve got this! :)
- Sue :)
See other posts like this one:
Tuesday, May 27, 2025
Anxiety Is Not a Life Sentence: Kierra’s Story
When a 9-year-old girl sees “her anxiety” as a lifelong identity, it starts holding her back. She stops enjoying her favorite activities. Her parents realize she’s developed the internal belief that her anxiety means she can’t have fun and she is broken. To help their daughter become courageous and resilient (and get her back to having fun), they focus on rewriting her internal beliefs – including the belief that anxiety is something she has to deal with forever.
Monday, May 12, 2025
Is school failing your anxious child? Melissa’s story
After moving to a new school at 11 years old, Noah’s anxiety took a turn for the worse. The last three years have been a nightmare for him and his mum. Mum Melissa has waited for the experts at school to solve the problem. But nothing they try is working. Finally, Melissa realises that it’s up to her to lead the charge. Read on to see how Melissa figured out the solution that let Noah become a thriving, happy child again.
Monday, April 28, 2025
When Nothing Sticks: How to Break Through When You’ve “Tried Everything”
The scripts from that parenting coach on Instagram. The strategies the therapist gave you. The tricks from your friend whose kid actually listens the first time. You’ve tried it all. And for a day or two, they worked for you. But then? Right back to square one. The tantrums. The power struggles. The exhaustion. And you’re left wondering: Why does nothing stick? What is going wrong?
“Thank you for showing me a different way to manage my kids.”
- Jen (mum of 2)
Two weeks ago, I sat listening to Jen, a mother of two who was feeling at the end of her tether.
She explained that she felt like a terrible mother, consumed by guilt and anxiety because she was constantly nagging her kids, trying to get them to cooperate.
Jen was worried that her nagging was affecting her relationship with her kids.
The Nagging Trap
And trust me, Jen is not alone. I have been there on many occasions when I was busy juggling family and work life.
Those countless reminders felt like a never-ending battle, whether it was homework, chores, or simply trying to get my kids ready to leave the house in the morning.
Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned how possible it is to turn things around, let go of the guilt, and become the parent you truly want to be. I know this is possible for you, too.
Breaking Free from Nagging
I shared some tips with Jen, which led to her seeing massive positive changes in her home in as little as two weeks.
Jen now asks more powerful, non-judgmental questions rather than giving advice.
She is speaking less!
Why is speaking less essential for us as parents?
When WE do all the speaking, OUR neural pathways fire.
Looking back, before I learned this, I realised how much I over-talked as a mother and teacher.
Why does this matter?
It matters because kids are likely to tune out when a conversation is one-sided. This may be hard to swallow, but it means you’re making it all about yourself.
No wonder kids often disconnect from what their parents and educators are saying. They’ve tuned out because the conversation is one-sided. I shudder to think about how frequently I did this as a teacher and a parent before I learned there was a better way.
Tuning Into Your Child
Here’s what I’ve learned since then.
Whenever YOU speak, YOUR neurons fire, yet your child’s neurons are metaphorically lying back, snoozing.
Our thoughts drive our behaviour so if your child’s neurons are asleep, how can you expect your child to be motivated or willing to take action and follow your instructions?
How can you break this pattern of you doing all the talking (AKA nagging) and your child tuning out?
📌 The key is to tune into your child and meet them where they’re at.
Strategies for Connection
Instead of nagging and expecting your child to meet you where you’re at, slow down, tune in, and connect with them without over-talking. Be present, listen, and honour their space.
Then, when your child is comfortable in your presence, ask a neutral question without judgement or negativity in your voice or body language, and wait until your child engages and speaks. (💡 Remember: You want their neurons to fire!)
Here are just a few strategies Jen has been practising.
✅ Hey ……………., can I ask you something?
(This checks in to see if your child is ready to listen).
✅ How long until this show is finished?
(This will prevent your child from feeling like you’re interrupting and intruding into their personal space.)
✅ You look tired. How long do you need before you go and clean your teeth and hop into bed? (This assists your child in self-assessing without you nagging eg: go and clean your teeth, IT’S TIME FOR BED!)
✅ It’s getting late, and it looks like you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now. Would you like some help to ……………………………….eg clean your teeth, do your HW or have you got this?
By applying these strategies, Jen is noticing significant improvements in connecting with and tuning into her child's needs. This is giving her child a chance to self-lead and take charge of their situation by waking up their neurons.
Your Turn
Now, it’s your turn to think of how you could NAG LESS and CONNECT MORE to fire up and strengthen your child’s neurons.
You might think this will not work for you, or perhaps you think you’ve already tried it.
I encourage you to have another go with a new intention of waking up your child’s neurons so you aren’t doing all the work.
Let’s face it: nagging is exhausting. It’s all one way, and it doesn’t serve anyone.
It’s time to help our young people think and do things for themselves by activating and developing strong positive neural pathways that help them take responsibility for themselves in ways that serve them and you.
You’ve got this! :)
- Sue :)
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Recent blogs:
Anxiety Is Not a Life Sentence: Kierra’s Story
Tuesday, May 27, 2025
When a 9-year-old girl sees “her anxiety” as a lifelong identity, it starts holding her back. She stops enjoying her favorite activities. Her parents realize she’s developed the internal belief that her anxiety means she can’t have fun and she is broken. To help their daughter become courageous and resilient (and get her back to having fun), they focus on rewriting her internal beliefs – including the belief that anxiety is something she has to deal with forever.
Is school failing your anxious child? Melissa’s story
Monday, May 12, 2025
After moving to a new school at 11 years old, Noah’s anxiety took a turn for the worse. The last three years have been a nightmare for him and his mum. Mum Melissa has waited for the experts at school to solve the problem. But nothing they try is working. Finally, Melissa realises that it’s up to her to lead the charge. Read on to see how Melissa figured out the solution that let Noah become a thriving, happy child again.
When Nothing Sticks: How to Break Through When You’ve “Tried Everything”
Monday, April 28, 2025
The scripts from that parenting coach on Instagram. The strategies the therapist gave you. The tricks from your friend whose kid actually listens the first time. You’ve tried it all. And for a day or two, they worked for you. But then? Right back to square one. The tantrums. The power struggles. The exhaustion. And you’re left wondering: Why does nothing stick? What is going wrong?
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