Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.
Monday, May 13, 2024
Monday, May 13, 2024
Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.
Monday, May 13, 2024
Stop Nagging! Do This Instead.
Sick of nagging your kids?
“Thank you for showing me a different way to manage my kids.”
- Jen (mum of 2)
Two weeks ago, I sat listening to Jen, a mother of two who was feeling at the end of her tether.
She explained that she felt like a terrible mother, consumed by guilt and anxiety because she was constantly nagging her kids, trying to get them to cooperate.
Jen was worried that her nagging was affecting her relationship with her kids.
The Nagging Trap
And trust me, Jen is not alone. I have been there on many occasions when I was busy juggling family and work life.
Those countless reminders felt like a never-ending battle, whether it was homework, chores, or simply trying to get my kids ready to leave the house in the morning.
Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned how possible it is to turn things around, let go of the guilt, and become the parent you truly want to be. I know this is possible for you, too.
Breaking Free from Nagging
I shared some tips with Jen, which led to her seeing massive positive changes in her home in as little as two weeks.
Jen now asks more powerful, non-judgmental questions rather than giving advice.
She is speaking less!
Why is speaking less essential for us as parents?
When WE do all the speaking, OUR neural pathways fire.
Looking back, before I learned this, I realised how much I over-talked as a mother and teacher.
Why does this matter?
It matters because kids are likely to tune out when a conversation is one-sided. This may be hard to swallow, but it means you’re making it all about yourself.
No wonder kids often disconnect from what their parents and educators are saying. They’ve tuned out because the conversation is one-sided. I shudder to think about how frequently I did this as a teacher and a parent before I learned there was a better way.
Tuning Into Your Child
Here’s what I’ve learned since then.
Whenever YOU speak, YOUR neurons fire, yet your child’s neurons are metaphorically lying back, snoozing.
Our thoughts drive our behaviour so if your child’s neurons are asleep, how can you expect your child to be motivated or willing to take action and follow your instructions?
How can you break this pattern of you doing all the talking (AKA nagging) and your child tuning out?
📌 The key is to tune into your child and meet them where they’re at.
Strategies for Connection
Instead of nagging and expecting your child to meet you where you’re at, slow down, tune in, and connect with them without over-talking. Be present, listen, and honour their space.
Then, when your child is comfortable in your presence, ask a neutral question without judgement or negativity in your voice or body language, and wait until your child engages and speaks. (💡 Remember: You want their neurons to fire!)
Here are just a few strategies Jen has been practising.
✅ Hey ……………., can I ask you something?
(This checks in to see if your child is ready to listen).
✅ How long until this show is finished?
(This will prevent your child from feeling like you’re interrupting and intruding into their personal space.)
✅ You look tired. How long do you need before you go and clean your teeth and hop into bed? (This assists your child in self-assessing without you nagging eg: go and clean your teeth, IT’S TIME FOR BED!)
✅ It’s getting late, and it looks like you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now. Would you like some help to ……………………………….eg clean your teeth, do your HW or have you got this?
By applying these strategies, Jen is noticing significant improvements in connecting with and tuning into her child's needs. This is giving her child a chance to self-lead and take charge of their situation by waking up their neurons.
Your Turn
Now, it’s your turn to think of how you could NAG LESS and CONNECT MORE to fire up and strengthen your child’s neurons.
You might think this will not work for you, or perhaps you think you’ve already tried it.
I encourage you to have another go with a new intention of waking up your child’s neurons so you aren’t doing all the work.
Let’s face it: nagging is exhausting. It’s all one way, and it doesn’t serve anyone.
It’s time to help our young people think and do things for themselves by activating and developing strong positive neural pathways that help them take responsibility for themselves in ways that serve them and you.
You’ve got this! :)
- Sue :)
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“Thank you for showing me a different way to manage my kids.”
- Jen (mum of 2)
Two weeks ago, I sat listening to Jen, a mother of two who was feeling at the end of her tether.
She explained that she felt like a terrible mother, consumed by guilt and anxiety because she was constantly nagging her kids, trying to get them to cooperate.
Jen was worried that her nagging was affecting her relationship with her kids.
The Nagging Trap
And trust me, Jen is not alone. I have been there on many occasions when I was busy juggling family and work life.
Those countless reminders felt like a never-ending battle, whether it was homework, chores, or simply trying to get my kids ready to leave the house in the morning.
Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned how possible it is to turn things around, let go of the guilt, and become the parent you truly want to be. I know this is possible for you, too.
Breaking Free from Nagging
I shared some tips with Jen, which led to her seeing massive positive changes in her home in as little as two weeks.
Jen now asks more powerful, non-judgmental questions rather than giving advice.
She is speaking less!
Why is speaking less essential for us as parents?
When WE do all the speaking, OUR neural pathways fire.
Looking back, before I learned this, I realised how much I over-talked as a mother and teacher.
Why does this matter?
It matters because kids are likely to tune out when a conversation is one-sided. This may be hard to swallow, but it means you’re making it all about yourself.
No wonder kids often disconnect from what their parents and educators are saying. They’ve tuned out because the conversation is one-sided. I shudder to think about how frequently I did this as a teacher and a parent before I learned there was a better way.
Tuning Into Your Child
Here’s what I’ve learned since then.
Whenever YOU speak, YOUR neurons fire, yet your child’s neurons are metaphorically lying back, snoozing.
Our thoughts drive our behaviour so if your child’s neurons are asleep, how can you expect your child to be motivated or willing to take action and follow your instructions?
How can you break this pattern of you doing all the talking (AKA nagging) and your child tuning out?
📌 The key is to tune into your child and meet them where they’re at.
Strategies for Connection
Instead of nagging and expecting your child to meet you where you’re at, slow down, tune in, and connect with them without over-talking. Be present, listen, and honour their space.
Then, when your child is comfortable in your presence, ask a neutral question without judgement or negativity in your voice or body language, and wait until your child engages and speaks. (💡 Remember: You want their neurons to fire!)
Here are just a few strategies Jen has been practising.
✅ Hey ……………., can I ask you something?
(This checks in to see if your child is ready to listen).
✅ How long until this show is finished?
(This will prevent your child from feeling like you’re interrupting and intruding into their personal space.)
✅ You look tired. How long do you need before you go and clean your teeth and hop into bed? (This assists your child in self-assessing without you nagging eg: go and clean your teeth, IT’S TIME FOR BED!)
✅ It’s getting late, and it looks like you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now. Would you like some help to ……………………………….eg clean your teeth, do your HW or have you got this?
By applying these strategies, Jen is noticing significant improvements in connecting with and tuning into her child's needs. This is giving her child a chance to self-lead and take charge of their situation by waking up their neurons.
Your Turn
Now, it’s your turn to think of how you could NAG LESS and CONNECT MORE to fire up and strengthen your child’s neurons.
You might think this will not work for you, or perhaps you think you’ve already tried it.
I encourage you to have another go with a new intention of waking up your child’s neurons so you aren’t doing all the work.
Let’s face it: nagging is exhausting. It’s all one way, and it doesn’t serve anyone.
It’s time to help our young people think and do things for themselves by activating and developing strong positive neural pathways that help them take responsibility for themselves in ways that serve them and you.
You’ve got this! :)
- Sue :)
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Recent blogs:
When Staying CALM Feels Impossible
Monday, November 17, 2025
This blog helps parents understand why staying calm during emotional storms can feel impossible and how to respond differently when your child is spiralling, catastrophising, or shutting you out. You'll learn what triggers your nervous system, how to stay grounded in high-stress moments, and powerful ways to repair and reconnect after conflict. Ideal for parents of strong-willed, anxious, or complex kids aged 6–18.
Does Your Child Have a Deep Fear of Rejection or Abandonment?
Sunday, November 02, 2025
Discover why school refusal, emotional shutdowns, or peer struggles may stem from your child’s deep fear of rejection or abandonment. Learn how to respond with empathy, avoid common mistakes like “just ignore them,” and guide your child through bullying, anxiety, and friendship challenges with confidence and emotional safety. Includes 7 actionable steps to support your child’s wellbeing and rebuild their trust.
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When your child is anxious—whether over school, friendships, or how they look—logic alone won’t help them feel safe. In this blog, Sue explores how well-meaning phrases like “don’t worry what others think” can unintentionally invalidate your child’s emotions. You'll learn how anxiety disrupts their ability to process reasoning, and how emotional validation creates the trust they need to open up. With real-life examples, validating phrases, and a 3-step practice, this blog offers a compassionate roadmap for building connection before correction.
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