And then secondly, what I want you to do is, with compassion and kindness, I want you to ask your child this question:

“How will you feel if you don't?”

You might like to write that down so you remember it…“How will you feel if you don't……………..?”

Let's look at an example.

“How will you feel if you don't go on school camp? What will your friends be doing that you'll be missing out on?”

Now, I'm not getting you to ask this question to make your child feel bad. Instead, I want you to get them to think differently about the choice they're making. Because as Tony Robbins says:

“Most people will do more to avoid pain than they will to experience pleasure.”

So when your child has the choice to do something or not, they're more likely to avoid the thing that causes the most pain. And you want them to be thinking that the pain of missing out on school camp will be worse than the pain of going on school camp.

Then thirdly, help your child make the courageous choice to go on camp or do the thing that they're afraid of, rather than choose to stay in their safe zone.

For example, stay at home in their comfort zone, feeling miserable though while their friends are having a ball on camp.

I want you to lighten things up a little and ask them to take a metaphorical spoonful of courage. Tell them that you've discovered that that's the best antidote for fear and anxiety.

And the thing is, this is the truth.

Courage does counteract anxiety. A dose of courage reduces anxiety like paracetamol reduces pain. And to reduce the pain you’re all experiencing in your household right now, your child needs to practice taking courageous steps no matter how small those steps are.

So to recap:

1.     Firstly, I want you to take a spoonful of courage yourself.

2.    And then secondly, I want you to ask the courageous question to your child. “How will you feel if you don't do [the thing that they are afraid of]?”

3.     Then thirdly, encourage your child to take large doses of courage whenever fear and self-doubt decide to show up.

Make sure you acknowledge your child whenever they do show courage because it takes a lot of courage for an anxious child to step outside their comfort zone.

Now with courage comes certainty and confidence. And I know you want your child to be more confident. So I'm prescribing at least one large dose of courage per day for your child and anyone else in your family when fear shows up for them. So go forth and build confidence and courage in your child.