Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Have you ever wondered why your child seems to resist school more and more? The anxiety, the reluctance to get ready in the morning, the excuses not to go—it’s enough to make any parent worry. What if it’s not just a phase? What if something deeper is at play?
Mum of 2, Tiffany shares her story:
I remember so clearly as a young child, school just wasn’t my thing. There were very few subjects that I was good at and I spent most lunches in a classroom by myself.
What this looked like at home:
I was ‘aloof' and off in my own world, I didn’t want to go to school most days, I found homework difficult to understand, most days my Mum was called to the school because I was in the sick bay. I would leave most lunches uneaten at the bottom of my bag.
I wasn’t necessarily defiant in my attitude at home, I just found things too hard and either lied to get out of them or pretended I had done them.
I was bullied at school, I felt anxious in maths class because I didn’t understand it so I often ended up ‘being sick’. In other classes to fit in I allowed other students to copy my work and claim it as theirs, this meant I would get in trouble from some teachers.
This resulted in multiple meetings with the school and teachers which led to me eventually moving schools.
What was really going on:
I didn’t know this before, but since starting my journey of discovery and getting Sue’s (U-Turn Anxiety) support I’ve come to understand the reasons I did this. These are all the things that were playing out on a subconscious level.
I had resistance to doing things and complying from a fear of not being good enough. I’d often opt to avoid and not even try.
Why?
Because I felt like no one understood my way of thinking. I didn’t like or understand a lot of mainstream learning so I tended to give up on myself before I even started most things.
And when I did step up and complete things I was good at, I often found that old pattern repeating… where someone copied my work, took the credit and threatened me if I told anyone.
This is where my attitude stemmed from.
To save myself from feeling the pain of being bullied, I’d tell myself: I don't get it, it's too hard, why bother?
I had lost trust in myself and others and as a result I became very resistant to school.
Since being on my personal and parent educational journey I’ve learnt so much!
I’m now implementing what I’ve learned with my children. I’ve helped them regain self-trust, safety and security in themselves. Which in turn has built their confidence and openness toward school.
Does Tiffany’s story resonate for you or your child?
Your child’s school resistance story may differ from Tiffany’s but, there will likely be common reasons your child resists going to school.
Here are common reasons kids resist school:
👉 They don’t know how to meet the expectations of themselves or others
👉 Talking about their problems may be too confronting
👉 A perceived fear of being found out and having their flaws exposed
👉 A fear of shame and not being good enough,
👉 Low self-worth
👉 Feeling like no one understands them, therefore not trusting others based on past experiences, so they decide, ‘why bother?’
👉 An intense fear of rejection or abandonment
👉 Children and teens may interpret their caregivers or teachers’' responses to their needs as inconsistent, so may develop an anxious attachment style. This anxious attachment style can lead to a conflicting pattern of trying to re-establish closeness through clinginess or pushing away to protect. This pattern also includes excess worry and low energy.
What to do next:
Here are 4 steps we teach at U-Turn anxiety to regain your child’s self-trust, safety and security in themselves and rebuild their confidence and openness toward school.
1. Remain open
Our brain matches our life results with pre-existing beliefs.
Be open to changing your beliefs about your child to create new life results for them and you.
Your child has a greater chance of changing their beliefs and life results when you believe they can.
Don’t just say it, but, Show them that you believe in them!
2. Role model and teach responsibility with compassion to your kids
Taking responsibility is a choice.
Owning your current circumstances and life results is responsibility.
Get vulnerable and real.
Be at cause instead of effect.
👉 Effect – believing things are happening to you which creates a resistance of responsibility.
👉 Cause – believing that things are happening through you based on your responses.
Leaving past experiences in the past and focussing on creating a better future is key.
Letting go of blaming, complaining and making excuses because these habits are learned ways to resist responsibility.
3. Teach your child to be in the driver’s seat of their life
Role model what being at cause looks like.
When we’re bouncing from one thing to the next we’re in reactivity (effect) which means we’re not actually in control.
Being in the driver’s seat means you are at cause, taking responsibility.
The degree that you can accept when you’re in reactivity, is the degree that you have the power to do something about it.
4. Build your child’s belief that they are capable and significant
Start at home. Consider what your child can do, within and outside the home.
Choose age appropriate jobs and train them early.
Rescuing your child or being their slave creates learned helplessness, lack of motivation, resistance to growth and responsibility, low respect and low appreciation.
Now, if you want to reduce your child’s resistance and anxiety at school and beyond, we encourage you to follow these 4 steps.
Doing this will see your child build confidence and regain a sense of trust, safety and security.
📌 Want to know how you can get the same guidance and support Tiffany received? 😍
CLICK HERE to learn more.
See other posts like this one:
Monday, September 09, 2024
The Hidden Impact of Emotional Trauma on Childhood Anxiety
Many of us grew up hearing phrases like, "Why are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!" These words, often said in frustration, may seem harmless in the moment but can have lasting effects on a child's emotional well-being.
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Have you ever wondered why your child seems to resist school more and more? The anxiety, the reluctance to get ready in the morning, the excuses not to go—it’s enough to make any parent worry. What if it’s not just a phase? What if something deeper is at play?
Sunday, July 28, 2024
What’s Wrong with Asking “What’s Wrong?”
As an anxious child I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me. In fact, for four decades I kept this a secret until I discovered there was nothing wrong with me at all. My parents would often ask…… “what’s wrong, now?" And I cringe as I recall myself saying this to my sensitive, big feeling daughter.
Mum of 2, Tiffany shares her story:
I remember so clearly as a young child, school just wasn’t my thing. There were very few subjects that I was good at and I spent most lunches in a classroom by myself.
What this looked like at home:
I was ‘aloof' and off in my own world, I didn’t want to go to school most days, I found homework difficult to understand, most days my Mum was called to the school because I was in the sick bay. I would leave most lunches uneaten at the bottom of my bag.
I wasn’t necessarily defiant in my attitude at home, I just found things too hard and either lied to get out of them or pretended I had done them.
I was bullied at school, I felt anxious in maths class because I didn’t understand it so I often ended up ‘being sick’. In other classes to fit in I allowed other students to copy my work and claim it as theirs, this meant I would get in trouble from some teachers.
This resulted in multiple meetings with the school and teachers which led to me eventually moving schools.
What was really going on:
I didn’t know this before, but since starting my journey of discovery and getting Sue’s (U-Turn Anxiety) support I’ve come to understand the reasons I did this. These are all the things that were playing out on a subconscious level.
I had resistance to doing things and complying from a fear of not being good enough. I’d often opt to avoid and not even try.
Why?
Because I felt like no one understood my way of thinking. I didn’t like or understand a lot of mainstream learning so I tended to give up on myself before I even started most things.
And when I did step up and complete things I was good at, I often found that old pattern repeating… where someone copied my work, took the credit and threatened me if I told anyone.
This is where my attitude stemmed from.
To save myself from feeling the pain of being bullied, I’d tell myself: I don't get it, it's too hard, why bother?
I had lost trust in myself and others and as a result I became very resistant to school.
Since being on my personal and parent educational journey I’ve learnt so much!
I’m now implementing what I’ve learned with my children. I’ve helped them regain self-trust, safety and security in themselves. Which in turn has built their confidence and openness toward school.
Does Tiffany’s story resonate for you or your child?
Your child’s school resistance story may differ from Tiffany’s but, there will likely be common reasons your child resists going to school.
Here are common reasons kids resist school:
👉 They don’t know how to meet the expectations of themselves or others
👉 Talking about their problems may be too confronting
👉 A perceived fear of being found out and having their flaws exposed
👉 A fear of shame and not being good enough,
👉 Low self-worth
👉 Feeling like no one understands them, therefore not trusting others based on past experiences, so they decide, ‘why bother?’
👉 An intense fear of rejection or abandonment
👉 Children and teens may interpret their caregivers or teachers’' responses to their needs as inconsistent, so may develop an anxious attachment style. This anxious attachment style can lead to a conflicting pattern of trying to re-establish closeness through clinginess or pushing away to protect. This pattern also includes excess worry and low energy.
What to do next:
Here are 4 steps we teach at U-Turn anxiety to regain your child’s self-trust, safety and security in themselves and rebuild their confidence and openness toward school.
1. Remain open
Our brain matches our life results with pre-existing beliefs.
Be open to changing your beliefs about your child to create new life results for them and you.
Your child has a greater chance of changing their beliefs and life results when you believe they can.
Don’t just say it, but, Show them that you believe in them!
2. Role model and teach responsibility with compassion to your kids
Taking responsibility is a choice.
Owning your current circumstances and life results is responsibility.
Get vulnerable and real.
Be at cause instead of effect.
👉 Effect – believing things are happening to you which creates a resistance of responsibility.
👉 Cause – believing that things are happening through you based on your responses.
Leaving past experiences in the past and focussing on creating a better future is key.
Letting go of blaming, complaining and making excuses because these habits are learned ways to resist responsibility.
3. Teach your child to be in the driver’s seat of their life
Role model what being at cause looks like.
When we’re bouncing from one thing to the next we’re in reactivity (effect) which means we’re not actually in control.
Being in the driver’s seat means you are at cause, taking responsibility.
The degree that you can accept when you’re in reactivity, is the degree that you have the power to do something about it.
4. Build your child’s belief that they are capable and significant
Start at home. Consider what your child can do, within and outside the home.
Choose age appropriate jobs and train them early.
Rescuing your child or being their slave creates learned helplessness, lack of motivation, resistance to growth and responsibility, low respect and low appreciation.
Now, if you want to reduce your child’s resistance and anxiety at school and beyond, we encourage you to follow these 4 steps.
Doing this will see your child build confidence and regain a sense of trust, safety and security.
📌 Want to know how you can get the same guidance and support Tiffany received? 😍
CLICK HERE to learn more.
Save your seat for this
FREE ONLINE CLASS
Tuesday, 13th August
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
RECENT BLOGS
Save Your Seat For This FREE Online Class
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
Discover the exact formula that stops anxiety ruling your child’s life in 90 minutes!
Recent blogs:
The Hidden Impact of Emotional Trauma on Childhood Anxiety
Monday, September 09, 2024
Many of us grew up hearing phrases like, "Why are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!" These words, often said in frustration, may seem harmless in the moment but can have lasting effects on a child's emotional well-being.
Why I Became Resistant and Anxious at School - A Client Story
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Have you ever wondered why your child seems to resist school more and more? The anxiety, the reluctance to get ready in the morning, the excuses not to go—it’s enough to make any parent worry. What if it’s not just a phase? What if something deeper is at play?
What’s Wrong with Asking “What’s Wrong?”
Sunday, July 28, 2024
As an anxious child I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me. In fact, for four decades I kept this a secret until I discovered there was nothing wrong with me at all. My parents would often ask…… “what’s wrong, now?" And I cringe as I recall myself saying this to my sensitive, big feeling daughter.
Mid Year $1 Offer
I’ll show you just how possible it is
to reduce your child’s anxiety starting TODAY!
Have access to our proven techniques that have helped countless parents calm their anxious child.
Home
About Sue
About U-Turn Anxiety
Meet Our Coaches
Copyright © All rights reserved 2018 - Present | Terms | Privacy