WHAT???

Before you start claiming that I’m anti-child therapy, I’m not at all.

BUT

I am opposed to people recommending that your anxious child see an external therapist when they think therapy is the only solution to reducing your child’s anxiety.

Here’s why ……………………

Having experienced anxiety personally as a child and parent, along with raising two anxious kids, working in the school system, and my own business supporting hundreds of anxious kids and their parents, I’ve seen and experienced what works and what doesn’t.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Your child needs YOU to be their rock.
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You are the one constant person in your child’s life, meaning they need YOU to be their rock instead of needing to rely on a therapist to keep them emotionally and psychologically on track

2. YOU need the tools and skills to support your child because you are the most influential person in your child’s life. If your child’s therapist is the only person who has the skills to help your child, how will your child get the ongoing support they need on a day-to-day basis?

Adult time spent with anxious children

Upskilling parents (and educators) is the key to creating real change in anxious kids.


3. Not all therapy is helpful

Many parents believe that seeking therapy for their anxious child will be helpful. While therapy can be beneficial, not all therapists specialise in childhood anxiety. It’s important to ensure that the therapist has a proven track record of effectively helping children.

Your child doesn’t need more than talk therapy. Instead, their thinking patterns need to be challenged to create significant mind shifts and behaviour change, otherwise, they’ll stay looping in anxiety.


4. Your child needs you to be their trusted guide.

All kids do better when they have an open trusting relationship with their parents.

Imagine if every child felt comfortable opening up, talking to their parents, instead of needing to wait to see a therapist to express their thoughts and feelings.

Learning how to tune into your child by helping them feel heard and understood builds a deep sense of safety, love, trust, and connection in your relationship.

​5. Our children need strong supportive parents and educators they can count on.

Without empowering the key adults in anxious kids’ lives with the knowledge, skills, certainty and confidence to effectively support them, kids can feel psychologically and emotionally insecure.

This means they can easily slip back into unhelpful patterns, even if they’ve been seeing a therapist. Kids need the significant adults in their life to be strong supportive leaders steering the ship.

Let’s recap.

1. Your child needs YOU to be their rock.

2. YOU need the tools and skills to support your child.

3. Not all therapy is helpful.

4. Your child needs YOU to be their trusted guide.

5. ​Our children need strong supportive parents and educators they can count on.

In 2000, when my 16-year-old daughter and I hit a crisis point, I had a big wake-up call and realised it was time to stop putting the responsibility on my child or external therapists. Instead, I turned inward to change the trajectory my kids and I were on.

I learned invaluable life skills that I now share with families every day. I became my children’s rock, their go-to person for trusted guidance and support.

Do I get it right all the time? Not at all, but, I do back myself now that I have more clarity and certainty about what my children need which has had a positive ripple effect for all of us.

I quickly learned that as I levelled up, so did my kids and I know you can experience this too.

As parents, we are the key to unlocking our children’s potential.

You’ve got this!

- Sue 🤗